FUNNY BUSINESS

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror.
Being curious, the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"
"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."
"Wow! Does that really work?"
"You bet it does."
"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."
"Well, okay."
After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"
"You're the sixth," he said.
 

 
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "You must return it to the one from whom you stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused.
Oh, Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off. When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
 

 
The Professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam.
"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester.
I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer.
So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the course."
There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the Professor up on his offer.
As the last taker left the room, the Professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance."
One final student rose up and opted out of the final.
The Professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourself," he said.
"You all get 'A's."
 

 
A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, “Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl, your brother from Cork came in and named them.”
The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!”
She then asks the doctor, “Well, what's the girl's name?”
“Denise.”
“Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?'”
“Denephew.”
 

 
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“Accountants are in the past, managers are in the present, and leaders are in the future”
- Paul Orfalea