Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : No !!
Dad : The girl is Bill Gates' daughter
Son : oh.. okay
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad : I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates : No !!
Dad : My son is the CEO of World Bank
Bill Gates : oh.. okay
Dad goes to the President of World Bank
Dad : Appoint my son as the CEO of your Bank
President : No !!
Dad : He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates
President : Oh.. okay
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
“What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?” he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. “Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?” asked the Scout Master.
Timmy replied: “A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.”
“Why’s that Timmy?”
“Well,” answered Timmy, “the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration…”
“And what about the deck of cards?” asked the Scout Master impatiently.
“Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, “Put that red nine on top of that black ten!”
A grocer put up a sign that read “Eggplants, 25¢ each – three for a dollar.”
All day long, customers came in exclaiming: “Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!”
Each time the grocer meekly capitulated and packaged four eggplants.
The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, “Aren’t you going to fix the mistake on your sign?”
“What mistake?” the grocer asked. “Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”
I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting.
I turned off the WiFi router and simply waited in the room where it's located.
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.
“So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.”
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.”
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a cheque. He handed it to Leon. “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits!”
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who
cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
- George Bernard Shaw